he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
