He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
