we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
