I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
