I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
