its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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