Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
