im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
