Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
