I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
