We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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