Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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