Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
