I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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