thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
