Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
