quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
