I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
