billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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