As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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