For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
