He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
