Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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