Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
