I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
