At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
