CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
