Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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