I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
