Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize