He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
