But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
