what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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