What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
