Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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