Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
