got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
