i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
