I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
