wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
