Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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