windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
