So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
