i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
