so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
