i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
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