I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
