Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
