And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
