we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
